Beyond Caretaking: Balancing Giving with Self-Care
About this book
Do you find yourself always concerned about other people’s needs? Do you feel that your needs don’t really count? Do you feel as though you have to take care of other people’s feelings, but no one seems to care about yours? Are you surrounded by people who need you? Is your self-worth dependent on being needed? If you answered yes to some of these questions, you are one of the many people struggling with the Caretaking Pattern. Of course, it’s a good thing to be caring and helpful to people and make them feel good, but maybe you go overboard in this direction. Do you go out of your way to make sure that you don’t cause anyone discomfort? Do you find yourself trying to help someone with an addiction, but you just enable them to continue? Do you believe that you know better than other people how they should run their lives? Your urge to take care of people may come more from a need for self-esteem or a fear of being rejected or judged than from simple, heartfelt caring. You may be completely ignoring your own needs in favor of everyone else’s. You may not really be helping the people you care about. You might even be infantilizing someone by not believing that they can handle their own life. If you are tired of this pattern and would like to make a change, this book is for you. It will help you understand the fears and needs that are behind your Caretaking. These fears are usually unconscious and come from unresolved childhood pain. This book will help you to work through your fears so you can learn to take care of yourself. It will help you set up a practice for letting go of caretaking. It will help you learn how to become more attentive to your own needs and trust other people to take care of themselves. You can make this change without giving up your genuine caring for people. This book will help you to know what you need and to take initiative to get it, while still being attentive to other people’s needs. You will have an equal say in what happens, and people will take you seriously. This doesn’t mean that you will stop caring about other people and wanting the best for them. However, you won’t be doing this from a place of fear or need. When you do care for people and help them to feel good, it will come purely from a loving place in you. You will care for yourself and your needs as well, and you’ll also be respecting other people’s ability to take care of themselves. You will develop the ability to look out for yourself while still being a kind and loving person. This book is based on the Pattern System, a comprehensive and detailed map of the human psyche. Beyond Caretaking is more than a book. It includes * An online workbook * An online quiz * Recorded guided meditations * An online community