The Book That Would Not Burn
About this book
The story of an American musical based on a previous Polish tragedy which had been freely adapted from an English novel largely influenced by a Russian comedy and inspired by a German translationof a French dramatization - and all derived from an Italian improvisation of a story overheard in a tavern about a contessa and a Sicilian which goes something like this: One night, the contessa's husband, old Count Antonio Balbo who is twice the her age, was reading, and the lady retired early. She cannot sleep with a candle or lantern in the same room, so her bedchamber was in total darkness. Now, you know their manservant, Vespasio? The tall Sicilian they employed only last year? Well, he had emptied the chamberpots and forgotten to replace them. When he heard Donna Christina climb the stairs, he suddenly remembered, and he was afraid if the lady discovered the missing item, he might be beaten. So he quickly grabbed one of the pots and hurried to her bedchamber, planning to slip the pot under the bed before the Contessa discovered it missing. But when he opened the door, he was surprised to find the room totally without light, and he was without candle or lantern. Assuming the Contessa had discovered the missing chamber pot and was now in the garderobe relieving herself, he groped around to find the bed when the Contessa cried out in the darkness, 'I have been waiting for you to stop reading, my love! Quickly! Get undressed and lay beside me!'” “Well, you know Donna Christina was anxious to present the Count with a male heir, “and to accomplish this, she had been imbibing herbs recommended by Baba the gypsy, so the lady was - well - very, very anxious.”Now Vespasio was a good servant, although a little dense - and he considered a command something to be obeyed without question. In complete silence he removed his clothes which required no time at all considering what the lout wore under his tunic, and he climbed into the bed beside the Contessa. Well, of course they made the beast with two backs. Repeatedly I was told. Then the Contessa said, 'Thank you, my darling. Now I am tired. Return to your own chamber, and with God's blessing, we may have made a child tonight.' Again, never saying a word - what could he say? Vespasio dressed and departed, and nothing further was ever made of it. “Now the lady is with child, and old Antonio is delighted. So the story has a happy ending. And another, and another, and another.