Whitney Cummings

Well, well, well. Look at you, ogling my book page. . . . I presume if you're reading this it means you either need more encouragement to buy it, you're very bored in an airport, or we used to date and you're trying to figure out if you should sue me or not.Here are all the stories and mistakes I've made that were way too embarrassing to tell on stage in front of an actual audience; but thanks to not-so-modern technology, you can read about them here so I don't have to risk having your judgmental eye contact crush my self-esteem. This book contains some delicious schadenfreude in which I recall such humiliating debacles as breaking my shoulder while trying to impress a guy, coming very close to spending my life in a Guatemalan prison, and having my lacerated ear sewn back on by a deaf guy after losing it in a torrid love affair. In addition to hoarding mortifying situations that'll make you feel way better about your choices, I've also accumulated a lot of knowledge from therapists, psychotherapists, and psychopaths, which can probably help you avoid making the same mistakes I've made. Think of this book as everything you'd want from the Internet all in one place, except without the constant distractions of ads, online shopping, and porn.I'm not sure what else to say to say, except that you should buy it if you want to laugh and learn how to stop being crazy. If you're bored at an airport, I'm sorry and welcome to most days of my life on the road. And if we used to date, see you in court.

Crude, vulgar, and, above all, hilariously honest, Whitney Cummings shows off in her debut album Emotional Ninja.

This collection includes a variety of kinky and exciting stories to satisfy your hidden desires. These stories include explicit content for both men and women. Do you think you can last through this collection of Smokin' Hot sex stories? Download now and find out! *WARNING* This collection of short stories involves adult themes and should only be read by adult readers, 18 and over.

In her second one-hour Comedy Central special, taped at the Barclay Theatre in Irvine, CA, Cummings shares brutally honest insights about love and relationships, covering everything from what real orgasms look like, to her frustration at men calling women "crazy." In front of a packed audience, she dissects her recent breakup, her TV show, and the troubling voices in her head. This extended and uncensored version is sure to keep you laughing for days.