Ted L. Nancy

Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marrieage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling him that he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. This work is utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny.

Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows- Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest.Take, for example, this:Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants . You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks.Or this:Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play " Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome. ". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.Or even this:Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean.Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.

Ted L Nancy continues his gently surreal correspondence with the great and the good. His hilarious and bizarre letters - as before with unusual queries, complaints and requests - not only manage to fool many recipients into starchy and strait-laced answers but in some cases elicit equally hilarious, tongue-in-cheek replies. Ted writes to ask a certain soft drink giant if it's okay to sell his own 'Kiet Doke' brand of soda (in case it harms their sales) and contacts a restaurant to ask if he can bring his own waiter, as 'he brings me my soup hot and my salad with just the right amount of dressing'. That Ted can bring out people's welcoming and hospitable side with a letter detailing the problem of the permanent squeak he suffers when walking is a tribute to his unique style. Innocent as it is at turns outrageous, More Letters from a Nut is totally enthralling and painfully 'Dear Mayor's I want to give back to the community. I want to stage the play "Romeo and Juliet" using otter. There will be no racy scenes but some holding. Otters will play Romeo, Juliet, and the others. We will bring the otters out at the intermission to pet. These otters are something to see. They have performed this play many times with only one biting incident.'

He's back: the curse of customer service departments everywhere--Ted L. Nancy, letter writer extraordinaire whose imbecilic queries have a way of eliciting equally idiotic answers from some of the world’s biggest companies and dignitaries. From the bestselling author of Letters from a Nut comes the latest collection of seemingly serious but crazed correspondence. All New Letters from a Nut includes more than 200 letters, from bizarre to outright loony requests and compliments written by Mr. Nancy to Icelandic malls, German theme parks, shoe museums, foreign presidents, commode companies, waffle cone businesses, and the Hotel Del Fino in Greece along with their equally sincere but hilarious responses. With his previous books, Ted L. Nancy distinguished himself as America's favorite postal humorist. This latest compilation highlights his comic status through letters to an upscale Amsterdam hotel requesting a room for his 300 hamsters and him to put on his play HAMSTERDAM; to Vons Supermarkets complaining that their Diet Black Cherry soda is sending him paranormal messages; to Armour Meats seeking a 59-foot piece of bologna and a note to the City of Glendale, California, asking for help in starting his new comedy club, THE JOKESTRAP; and many more…. Throughout Ted L. Nancy demonstrates his genius for convincing people his absurd queries are dead serious, demonstrated by the responses he receives.All New Letters From a Nut is unabashedly silly, unapologetically sophomoric, and 100% funny. With a foreword by Jerry Seinfeld