Seth Grahame-Smith

Indiana. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother's bedside. She's been stricken with something the old-timers call "Milk Sickness.""My baby boy..." she whispers before dying.Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother's fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, " henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose ..." Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln , and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she’s soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield. Can Elizabeth vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses,

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER—NOW AN EYE-POPPING GRAPHIC NOVEL OF MANNERS, MORALS, AND BRAIN-EATING MAYHEM It is known as “the strange plague,” and its unfortunate victims are referred to only as “unmentionables” or “dreadfuls.” All over England, the dead are rising again, and now even the daughters of Britain’s best families must devote their lives to mastering the deadly arts. Elizabeth Bennet is a fearsome warrior whose ability with a sword is matched only by her quick wit and even sharper tongue. But she faces her most formidable foe yet in the haughty, conceited, and somehow strangely attractive Mr. Darcy. As the two lovers meet in the ballroom and on the battlefield, they’ll soon learn that nothing—not even bands of ninjas, hordes of flesh-eating zombies, or disapproving aunts—can stop true love.

From the author of the New York Times bestselling Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, comes UNHOLY NIGHT, the next evolution in dark historical revisionism. They're an iconic part of history's most celebrated birth. But what do we really know about the Three Kings of the Nativity, besides the fact that they followed a star to Bethlehem bearing strange gifts? The Bible has little to say about this enigmatic trio. But leave it to Seth Grahame-Smith, the brilliant and twisted mind behind Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to take a little mystery, bend a little history, and weave an epic tale. In Grahame-Smith's telling, the so-called "Three Wise Men" are infamous thieves, led by the dark, murderous Balthazar. After a daring escape from Herod's prison, they stumble upon the famous manger and its newborn king. The last thing Balthazar needs is to be slowed down by young Joseph, Mary and their infant. But when Herod's men begin to slaughter the first born in Judea, he has no choice but to help them escape to Egypt. It's the beginning of an adventure that will see them fight the last magical creatures of the Old Testament; cross paths with biblical figures like Pontius Pilate and John the Baptist; and finally deliver them to Egypt. It may just be the greatest story never told.

New York Times bestselling author Seth Grahame-Smith returns with the follow-up to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter--a sweeping, alternate history of 20th Century America as seen through the eyes of vampire Henry Sturges.In Reconstruction-era America, vampire Henry Sturges is searching for renewed purpose in the wake of his friend Abraham Lincoln's shocking death. Henry's will be an expansive journey that first sends him to England for an unexpected encounter with Jack the Ripper, then to New York City for the birth of a new American century, the dawn of the electric era of Tesla and Edison, and the blazing disaster of the 1937 Hindenburg crash.Along the way, Henry goes on the road in a Kerouac-influenced trip as Seth Grahame-Smith ingeniously weaves vampire history through Russia's October Revolution, the First and Second World Wars, and the JFK assassination.

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:- How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movieand much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.

Jane Austen's classic story about love and money is updated in this imaginative series with a little bit of blood, a touch of mayhem, and a whole bunch of zombies! 2 Book Set.

With great power comes great responsibility so if you want to be like Spider-Man, you'd better read the instructions first. The Spider-Man Handbook describes everything you need to live the Super Hero life. You'll How to Crawl up a WallHow to Design and Build a CostumeHow to Swing from Building to BuildingHow to Stop a Getaway CarHow to Negotiate the Release of a HostageHow to Take On a Gang of Henchmen Plus a few skills that would benefit all the Peter Parkers of the world (such as How to Deal with a Nightmare Boss, How to Live on a Meager Income, and so on). Complete with colorful step-by-step illustrations by a top Marvel artist, The Spider-Man Handbook is essential reading for all your web-slinging needs!

Porn is more mainstream than ever witness recent bestsellers by Jenna Jameson, Traci Lords, The Vivid Girls, and Pamela Anderson. Continuing this fine tradition is The Big Book of Porn a friendly, funny celebration of adult movies. Chapters - Know Your The 25 most important adult films.- Great Moments in Porn From the first stag movie to the invention of the VCR.- The Pantheon of These mini-bios of mega-stars like Seka and Ron Jeremy are filled with surprising trivia.- It's a Porn World, After Adult movies from Canada, Japan, even Afghanistan.- Make Your Own All you need is a video camera, a willing partner, and these simple pointers ("Tell a story," "Start with a bang," "Parody a real film title"). Best of all, The Big Book of Porn is illustrated with classic posters, stills, and production shots from the smutty '70s to the present day. Provocative, authoritative, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Big Book of Porn is a proud celebration of history's most scandalous art form.

Vampire Henry Sturges returns in the highly anticipated sequel to "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"-a sweeping, alternate history of twentieth-century America by "New York Times" bestselling author Seth Grahame-Smith. THE LAST AMERICAN VAMPIRE In Reconstruction-era America, vampire Henry Sturges is searching for renewed purpose in the wake of his friend Abraham Lincoln's shocking death. Henry's will be an expansive journey that first sends him to England for an unexpected encounter with Jack the Ripper, then to New York City for the birth of a new American century, the dawn of the electric era of Tesla and Edison, and the blazing disaster of the 1937 Hindenburg crash. Along the way, Henry goes on the road in a Kerouac-influenced trip as Seth Grahame-Smith ingeniously weaves vampire history through Russia's October Revolution, the First and Second World Wars, and the JFK assassination. Expansive in scope and serious in execution, THE LAST AMERICAN VAMPIRE is sure to appeal to the passionate readers who made" Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" a runaway success.

Whether you voted for Bush or not, you owe the world an apology. He s your president, after all, and the last eight years have been disastrous. "Pardon My President "features dozens of ways to say I m sorry just sign your name, fold along the score lines, and add a stamp. Here are hilarious and heartbreaking apologies to John McCain, Barack Obama, Queen Elizabeth II, the people of Iraq, schoolteachers, pretzel manufacturers, the Louisiana Superdome cleaning staff, and everyone else the Bush administration has wronged, including:Fiscal Conservatives: Six years after taking office, George Bush and his Republican-controlled Congress had taken those surpluses and turned them into the largest debt in the history of our nation more than $9 trillion. L'Oreal USA: I d like to apologize to you and the rest of the cosmetics industry for the physical appearance of Katherine Harris. . . . While millions of women use your products safely and responsibly, an unfortunate few abuse them in vile and disgusting ways. The English language (c/o Harvard University Department of English): No individual, with the possible exception of Larry the Cable Guy, has wronged you so profoundly.Harry M. Whittington: I'm sorry Dick Cheney shot you in the face.This collection of witty, ready-to-mail apologies offers essential reading for Bush bashers, disenchanted Republicans, and anyone looking for a clean start in 2009.

To get his revenge on Black Bolt, the Green Goliath has arrived on the moon, but so have the undead! That's right, it's Hulk vs. zombies on the moon!

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